


Looking For

by Omnomsauruswrites



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Has Issues, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 16:44:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18450572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Omnomsauruswrites/pseuds/Omnomsauruswrites
Summary: Bucky goes in search for redemption.





	Looking For

“I can’t…. You deserve…” his voice paused, pain laced through his vocal cords. 

“Don’t. Tell. Me. What. I. Deserve. You. Coward,” she enunciated. “You don’t get to… No… You know what, if you find whatever you are looking for, let me know. But let me tell you this, Barnes, going out for on some mission of redemption isn’t going to make you better than what you used to be. It makes you exactly the same.”

She turned and walked down the hall. He hung his head, internally cursing himself. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to go. 

\----------

_Faint light filtered in through the curtains. He stared at her dark curls that covered her face as she slept. He reached a metal finger to move them away, taking in her plump lips, her long lashes. She was so soft. He couldn’t believe he had something so right in his life. Not after all those years with HYDRA._

_He heard a soft sigh, as her petite hand reached from him. He smiled. This was home._

\-----------

The desert was harsh. Sand was clogging up his arm and he felt it every inch of his tac suit. He didn’t want to be here anymore. He didn’t ever want to see these miniscule grains ever again in his life. But HYDRA was here. He had a mission. Destroy HYDRA. 

He groaned, as another sandstorm kicked up. It would take him forever to get piece out of suit. He just wanted a warm bed, he just wanted Darcy. 

His eyes closed. Darcy. 

It had been six months since she had walked out. Since she turned her back, after calling him a coward. He had tried to see her one more time with his bags on his shoulders but Thor had stood before her door and shook his head no. 

He rubbed a hand down his face. He missed her. He ached for her. He could hear her in his head, “Are you finding what you looking for?” 

\-----------------

_She twirled in the kitchen and he leaned against the door, watching her. She was so carefree without the burdens of war on her shoulders. Her eyes were always bright and a smile always on her lips. She called him, “Barnes,” never James and mostly certainly not Bucky._

_It had only been a month back at the Compound and her laughter was always permeating through the halls. Whether it was a NERF war with Clint, eating poptarts with Thor or helping Steve with pop culture, she always had a soft smile and a loud laugh._

_Bucky wish he could experience it first hand and hold all her attention, but he had always witnessed it second hand. It was never directed at him. That was until she twirled right in front of him, a grin across her lips and her hand outstretched to him, “Dance with me, soldier.”_

\---------

The cold wind whipped across his face. Siberia. He hated Siberia. It’s where he had spent most of his days in cryo - cold and alone. 

He tightened the scarf around his face as he watched from the treeline. He tried to ignore the snow drifting into the neck of his jacket. He tried not to shiver, but his body was just so damn cold. He’d been still for hours, peering through his scope, watching, waiting. 

Nothing. 

He sighed. This was becoming a fool's errand. All the bases had been unoccupied, as if HYDRA had just up and vanished. And maybe they had. Maybe they hadn’t. 

But right now, all he wanted was a warm fire and a hot shower. His thoughts flitted to the nights in Aspen with Darcy at Christmas, when he took her on the rug right in front of the fire. He could feel her sweaty skin, hear her breathy moans. He remembered how she felt cumming on his cock, how she had whispered a soft ‘I love you’.

He heard her again, “Are you finding what you are looking for?” 

\--------------

_“You are a stubborn asshole, you know that,” she shouted at him. “You know that everyone has their version of hell, right? That you don’t fucking wear the world on your shoulders?”_

_“Darce…” he croaked out, reaching for her._

_“Don’t you dare touch me,” she recoiled and his heart ached._

_He had hope she would see reason. Understand that he was no good for her, but instead she had gone toe-to-toe with him. Her spine had straightened and she tried to stare him down._

_“You deserve….” he began, hands staying at his side._

_“You don’t get to tell me what I deserve, Barnes,” she hissed, stepping backwards. “You don’t get to make up my mind. I. Love. YOU. The END.”_

_“Baby…” he reached for her then._

_She didn’t recoil this time, but she didn’t reach for him either._

_“I can’t… You deserve….”_

\-------------

His phone rang in his pocket. It was meant for emergencies only. “Barnes,” he answered gruffly. 

“Bucky…” a voice sobbed out. 

“Baby?” he stuttered. “Baby, what’s wrong?” 

He heard a gunshot in the background. He heard scuffling. “Don’t come looking for me, OK?” she pleaded. “Don’t give into their demands. Bucky, promise me?” 

“Darce…” 

“Promise me.” 

“Darce….” 

The line went dead and he stared at the phone in his hand. 

Oh, god, he internally panicked. They went for her. They went after the one person he truly cared about. He was supposed to protect her and here he was, halfway across the world. 

His thumb hit Steve’s number. There wasn’t anyway he was letting her go, wasn’t anyway he was going to let HYDRA take the one person he cared about. “Steve, they’ve got Darcy,” he explained when Steve came on the line. “I’m on my way. I need you to track them down.”

\---------------

_“I love you,” he whispered in her ear, as he nipped at the earlobe._

_Her body shivered against his. “Love….” she began before he ripped a moan from her lips._

_He smiled against her skin. He loved watching and admiring how responsive she was to his touches and tastes. How he knew if he played with her clit and talked dirty in her ear, she’d quickly come undone. Or if he repeatedly spelled his name on her clit and she would be arching and pushing against his tongue before he got to Barnes._

_Her hands grabbed at his shoulders, as she whimpered. Her body arched into him, leaving no skin untouched. “Need you,” she demanded. “Need you now.”_

_“I’ll take care of you, baby.”_

\----------------

He threw open metal doors, clanging them against concrete walls. He didn’t care that he was causing a ruckus. He just needed to find her. 

This was where her tracker said she was and with every opened door, he feared he’d find her in a pool of her own blood. 

His comm crackled, “We got her. We got her, Buck.” 

He ran down the hall, trying to find the rest of the team where they split up. 

Seconds later, he found them. Steve had her craddled to his chest. Her eyes were closed, a gash on her forehead, bruises marred her skin, her hand looked broken. 

He tried not to see red, instead out stretched his arms in a sign to Steve to hand her over to him. 

Steve eyed him warily. “Buck…” 

“Steve give her to me,” he ordered, bending his fingers in a give her up motion. 

Steve gently placed the petite woman in his friend’s arms. Immediately, Bucky’s lips kissed her forehead. He heard her whimper. “You’re safe, baby,” he promised into her crown. “You’re safe. I got you. Don’t worry, Darce. You’re safe. I’m never leaving you, again, baby. I promise.” 

\-------------------

_He held her hand, as they walked down the street. Their first date had been a success, despite his nerves. He took her to a small Italian place in Brooklyn that was still there. She had teased about how many dates he probably took there in the ‘40s. He had blushed at the comment which had her giggling._

_He had responded by asking what her date move was. “You are assuming, I have some big date move their, hot shot,” she quipped._

_“A woman like you always does,” he teased._

_She had mocked offense at his comment before answering, “Maybe you’ll see it tonight if you play your cards right, tin man.”_

_“I always play the cards right.”_

\-----------------

He caressed her right hand, the non-broken one. She had been out for hours, as doctors had cleaned and set her wounds. It killed him when he read over the doctor’s report, noting all the contusions and cuts. 

He should have been here. He should have never left her side. He had left her wide open and he blamed himself for causing her to be in such a state. “You done scolding yourself?” a voice croaked. 

His head turned to see her blue eyes staring right at him. “Darce….” 

“Are you done?” she asked. 

His hands grasped hers between them, as he took in her face, the gauze, the bruise. Her eyes were dull and sad. She was hurting, he was the cause. 

“Are you done, Bucky?” she repeated, eyes never leaving his. 

He said the first thing that popped into his mind. 

“I love you,” he confessed, moving to sit next to her legs on the hospital bed. “I’m sorry, baby. So sorry. I love you.... I’m an idiot…. ” 

He babbled out. His hands grasped hers, as if he let go, she’d kick him out or worse disappear. 

“Darce… I’m soooo…” 

“Did you find what you were looking for?” she inquired. 

He rubbed a hand down his weary face. She wasn’t going to make this easy on him, he knew that. One of his hands reached into his pocket, pulling out a small box. 

“You were right, Darce, and I was too stubborn to admit it. Over the past 9 months, I never stopped loving you or thinking about you, sweetheart. When I was in the Sahara, all I wanted was a soft bed with you in it. When I was in Siberia, all I could think about was you naked in front of the fire. And when you called me, to promise me not to come after you, my heart broke in two. I should have never left you open and alone. Apparently, what I was looking for was you baby and I should have known that. I shoulda have fought for ya. I shoulda have never left ya. I’m so sorry. I want to make it up to ya, if you’ll let me.”

He opened the box with his thumb, showing an art deco ring with a sapphire and diamonds. Her eyes widened as she looked from the ring to his face. “Buck…” 

“Let me make it up to ya for the rest of our lives. You are what I’m looking for, doll. All that I ever want. All that I’ll ever need.”

Tears spilled on to her face and she bit her lip. “Promise?” she whispered. 

He bent his forehead to meet hers gently. Eyes peered into each other’s. “Promise, sweetheart.” 

She glided her nose against his before sealing her lips against his. The kiss was her vow and his.


End file.
